The last eight years or so, I have been “blessed” with a Mac Book Air laptop, the last one of which I acquired in December 2017. For better or worse, I get updates of all sorts about once a month, if not more often. Some of them are from Microsoft, but there are quite a few from other Apple affiliates. The last one came my way about an hour ago. After many a twist and turn, I was informed that the update was to take another thirty-nine minutes. I was stupefied, to say the least. This is when I started shouting at the top of my voice. Staring into the eye of the camera on the top of my laptop screen, I yelled with conviction: “Fuck MIT! Fuck Stanford!” After some reflection, I continued yelling with relish: “Fuck information technology! Fuck progress!” And this is how I kept yelling for about five minutes. “Cretins,” I went on, “idiots!” As I vented my lungs, I could not but hope that some morons out there would eventually hear and see me on their own screens. Indeed, fuck updates! I slammed my laptop shut, and headed for the front door. When I returned home after a drink, I was a bit calmer, and I opened my laptop to let the update come to its rightful conclusion. But the anger is still with me, I must confess. Fuck MIT and Stanford together! Fuck information technology and progress entire! Fuck all the cretins and idiots that cram this planet! One way or another, I can only hope that this message will get to the nincompoops behind updates of all sorts. What else is the World Wide Web for, anyway?