With what ease I now refer to of Anita as my wife! She has been my “little wife” for a few years already, but now I see her squarely as the fourth significant woman in my life, the fourth “wife” of mine. And yet, I know we will never live together, we will not have a child, we will never be husband and wife in a socially acceptable sense. Besides, I wish her not only to stay with her husband and have children with him, but I also wish them to love each other, cherish each other, and to be happy together. What then do I mean when I refer to Anita as my wife? I am not sure about the answer, but it has to do with my belief that the two of us will remain connected until death will part us. I believe that we will remain connected in spirit even if we do not see each other or hear from each other ever again. And that is something I cannot say about my other wives. I may become closer to Darja once again, but that is far from certain. We have not been in touch for years, and contact will be ever more difficult to re-establish. I will certainly do my best to become closer to Elise in the future, but I do not believe that our connection will be very strong ever again. I fear that she has become too harsh, too callous, too bitter for real love. I cannot even think of Lauren in these terms because the horror of divorce is still ahead of us. It will take us years before we can even imagine getting closer again. Anita is the only woman, I trust, who will keep loving me and keep cherishing my love for ever.