Before our last meeting with Gabrielle Rifkind, which took place on September 18, I was sure Lauren wanted out of our marriage but that she was waiting for me to pull the plug. I felt the reason was mainly legal, and that she was acting on advice of her lawyers. An Annenberg trait, this. I was thus startled by her reaction to my attempt at pulling the plug and our marriage counseling session. She was practically hysterical in her desire to stay with me. She also wanted to make love to me. “Come home and fuck me,” she demanded.

Today I intercepted another electronic-mail exchange Lauren had with one of her friends from Los Angels, Rhona. Lauren writes to Rhona that she wants out of the marriage, but that she is leaving the final act of walking out to me “because everything would be clearer that way.” She also lets Rhona know about her “fling” with Mark, whom Rhona apparently knows from the same yoga place. Lauren adds that the whole thing now appears to be over because of Mark’s silence.

Unfortunately, there is no date to Lauren’s message, but Rhona’s reply is of September 22, a week ago today. She is very supportive of Lauren’s decision. They must have discussed our marriage a few times already. Rhona believes that I am not an “evil” person, but only a “flawed” one. She adds a few nasty words about Mark, who “does not know what he is missing.” Of course, Lauren’s fling as such is perfectly fine with Rhona. By implication, it is justified by my flaws.

It is interesting that Lauren does not return to Rhona in the intervening period. Her rapture of September 18 is left unmentioned. Two days of lovemaking last weekend are left unmentioned. The poor thing must be very confused. However, I will be damned if I will give her the satisfaction of pulling the old plug. Let her stew in her own juices for a while longer. And I will continue ploughing all my fields in expectation of a good harvest. At least I will not feel ever-so-slightly guilty about it any longer.

Addendum (September 30, 2000)

It just crossed my mind that I have a real incentive to hang around as long as possible: I will be able to plummet the depths of Lauren’s duplicity. A woman’s mind will be like an open book for me. I will have a rare insight into the Californian mind, too. By the way, Lauren’s computer has been reconfigured again since last week, and one cannot log onto it without the password; however, the password is still the same. Returning to my little ploy, Lauren will not do all that badly either: as long as we are together, I will fuck her to her full satisfaction. After her fling, she knows she is fucking a champion. All in all, the end of our marriage may turn out to be great fun, not least for you, dear reader.