Lauren has been calling my mother and my friends, Giuseppe and Dragoslav, and crying her heart out on the phone. She does not want us to split up. She is devastated by what has happened between us, but she still does no want to give up. I am really surprised by her behavior. I thought she, too, wanted a divorce. What am I to do, though? This time I really want out, and she has correctly divined my determination even though we have not been in direct touch for a couple of weeks. At the same time, there is a small probability that the last calamity will teach her a lesson, and that we will be able to go forward on a new contract, as it were. If we are to stay together, it is she who will have to mend her ways. She will have to realize that her intelligence and beauty, imagined or not, and her very real wealth are far from enough. If she cannot give herself to me without remainder, I do no want her. Only that way can she hope to regain my affection and love. Without remainder.

Addendum I (October 25, 2000)

In military parlance, I just realized, this is called “unconditional surrender.” The precondition of a lasting peace, as everyone knows.

Addendum II (October 26, 2000)

My mother, Giuseppe, and Dragoslav all told me that Lauren was distraught and that I should call her in the States and help her calm down a bit. Dragoslav even thought there was a danger she could hurt herself. I called twice two days ago, but she and the children were not yet at the bed and breakfast place the number of which I got both from Giuseppe and Dragoslav. I left a message with the receptionist. Lauren returned my call last night. Speaking in a cold, hard voice, she began by reminding me that she was only returning my call rather than calling me herself. I tried to explain that my mother, Giuseppe, and Dragoslav had suggested that I give her a call, but it was clear from the outset that the whole thing was a mistake. It was clear that she not only wanted an apology from me, but that even an apology would be pretty useless given the enormity of my misdeeds. Then she reminded me of my infidelity, and I told her that it was not my intention to discuss such things at this time. And that was all we had to say to each other. She remained icy all the time. Unconditional surrender, my ass. Not only are we finished, but it is also clear that our divorce will not be a pretty sight.