In traditional India, regulated by the primordial Vedas, there were four stages in a man’s life: brahmachari or celibate student, grihastha or householder saddled with worldly responsibilities, vanaprastha or hermit, and sannyasi or wanderer liberated from all earthly concerns. Where am I in the Vedic plan? The first two stages I had hopelessly confused. The second stage I had repeated a couple of times, and it appears I could repeat it over and over again, perhaps indefinitely. The fourth stage I can only dream about, most likely through the end of my life. At the moment, I am stuck somewhere between the second and third stage. And stuck is the word. It seems that I am clinging onto the second stage like one desperately befuddled.

Addendum (August 7, 2016)

So many years later, I am definitely at the third stage of my life. Yes, I am a hermit. To my joy, the householder stage is definitely behind me by now. Having left all the worldly concerns behind me, I spend most of my time by myself. Even when I am surrounded by people, I just observe the passing show. More often than not, my mind is blissfully blank. But I am ever more convinced that the fourth stage, that of a wanderer, is not to be hoped for. It is beyond my reach because neither the civilization I am part of nor the climate around the forty-fifth parallel north are amenable to it. To wit, I am bound to remain a hermit till my last day. But I will keep dreaming about walking out of my house never to return, living on alms and sleeping in woods, resting on riverbanks and hilltops, and dropping dead in the middle of nowhere one fine day. The way to go.