For the second day in a row I feel kind of estranged from my several websites and the World Wide Web as a whole. I even feel estranged from my Residua, as well. Having only learned how very fragile everything on the Web really is, I find it difficult to muster the enthusiasm needed to pen another piece and post it for everyone to read. Deep down, I feel violated. Tarnished. Raped. I know that it will take only a few days to bounce back, but the feeling that my magnum opus is vulnerable to boot will stay with me for a long while. Returning to writing in earnest will probably take weeks, if not longer. Of course, much will depend on how the security of my site can be improved. Yesterday afternoon I wrote about it to Paul Bazay, my site’s designer, but there is no reply from him yet. Damned weekend, as I keep reminding myself every now and then.

Addendum I (September 2, 2008)

At long last, I got Paul’s answer to my many messages, which got increasingly hysterical: “No-one is hacking your site. It cannot be tampered with.” After a few more words to the effect that the source code is “read only,” he turned to the search engine itself: “Google is a difficult beast to understand, and getting properly indexed can be very frustrating.” In general, the more popular a website becomes, the better will Google index it. “Rest assured,” Paul closed his soothing message, “your site is safe from hackers.” The remaining question is disarmingly simple: whence my paranoia?

Addendum II (October 3, 2008)

A month later, I am still perplexed by my paranoia. Nonetheless, the key pieces of the jigsaw puzzle are now clear enough. Marijan Vejvoda’s introduction to Jacques Attali as a conspirator of utmost importance must have influenced me the most (“On the Sly,” September 4, 2008). No matter how doubtful I am about conspirology, I must have swallowed it hook, line, and sinker nonetheless. In addition, I must be deeply suspicious of French intellectuals as intellectuals (“Too Optimistic by Half: An Electronic-Mail Message to Jacques Attali,” August 18, 2008). My suspicion goes as far as to believe that they hardly subscribe to the ways and means of the intellectual tradition as I understand it (“The Intellectual Tradition: An Electronic-Mail Message to Google’s Security Office,” August 30, 2008). On top of this, my lack of understanding of how either Google or my Residua website work only added to my suspicion. But enough. The fact remains that Attali has responded to my several messages in the weirdest way imaginable (“In Praise of Jacques Attali,” August 24, 2008). Paranoia, schmaranoia.