Funny thoughts have been flashing through my mind ever since waking up this morning. Most them are well below the threshold of recording, but one of them is perfectly loud and clear. I solemnly declare that I do not wish any kind of funeral. It would be abhorrent to me. It would mock my very existence, and I would stop it by whatever means available if I were only capable of doing so after my death. All I wish is for my remains to be burned to ashes, and for the ashes to be scattered wherever without witness. The only thing that remains unresolved in my mind is the legal status of these words, which I have repeated in writing many times already. Has it come to pass that I will have to find a cunning lawyer to protect all those I care for from the mores of this unhinged world?! Has it come to pass that I cannot trust my own will and testament?!